tán
ài
de
biān jiè
边界
fàng shǒu
放手
Talking About the Boundaries of Love and Letting Go
àiwèimíngdekòng zhì控制shāng hài伤害yǐn fā引发fū qī夫妻duìqīn mì亲密guān xì关系defǎn sī反思

Control and harm committed in the name of love prompt a couple to reflect on the nature of intimate relationships.

黄刚
huākàn dào看到guì zhōu贵州bēi jù悲剧lemafù qīn父亲jìngàidàng chéng当成shāng hài伤害delǐ yóu理由zhēnràngrénxīn lǐ心里liáng

Hua, did you see that tragedy in Guizhou? A father actually used “love” as a reason to harm others. It’s chilling.

陈花
kànlenán guò难过wǎn shàng晚上shuìzhesuǒ wèi所谓deàirú guǒ如果dàizhekòng zhì控制zhàn yǒu占有yǐ jīng已经bú shì不是àile

I saw it. I was so upset that I couldn’t sleep all night. If so-called love comes with control and possession, then it’s no longer love.

黄刚
shìabàn àn办案derénshuōlezhēn zhèng真正deàinéngxiāng bàn相伴jiùzhēn xī珍惜bù néng不能xiāng bàn相伴yàozūn zhòng尊重duì fāng对方dexuǎn zé选择érbú shì不是zuòjí duān极端deshì

Exactly. Even the investigators said that real love means cherishing each other when you can stay together, and respecting the other person’s choice when you can’t—not doing something extreme.

陈花
zhè ge这个àn lì案例qí shí其实hěnduōwēi xiǎn危险xìn hào信号yì zhí一直dōuzàijiā bào家暴dǔ bó赌博wēi xié威胁dànjiā rén家人zhì dù制度dōuméi yǒu没有gěidàojí shí及时debǎo hù保护

In this case, many danger signs were there all along: domestic violence, gambling, threats… but neither the family nor the system provided timely protection.

黄刚
zhèshìràngfǎn sī反思dedì fāng地方lí hūn离婚lěng jìng qī冷静期běn lái本来shìwèi le为了huǎn hé缓和qíng xù情绪dànduìyǒujiā bào家暴fēng xiǎn风险dejiā tíng家庭kě néng可能fǎn ér反而chénglewēi xiǎn危险

That’s what made me reflect as well. The divorce cooling-off period was meant to ease emotions, but for families with domestic violence risks, it may actually become a dangerous time.

陈花
jué de觉得shè huì社会xū yào需要duōxiējué xǐng觉醒biézàiquànwèi le为了hái zi孩子rěnrěnyǒu shí hòu有时候rěnbú shì不是àiér shì而是réntuīxiàngshēn yuān深渊

I think society also needs more awareness. We should stop telling people to “endure it for the children.” Sometimes endurance isn’t love—it pushes people toward the abyss.

黄刚
duìzhēn zhèng真正deàijiàn lì建立zàizūn zhòng尊重píng děng平等shàngbú shì不是duì fāng对方dàng chéng当成sī rén私人wù pǐn物品yuèshìqīn mì亲密guān xì关系yuèyàoshǒu zhù守住biān jiè边界

Right. True love is built on respect and equality, not on treating someone as private property. The closer the relationship, the more important it is to keep boundaries.

陈花
gù shì故事dejié jú结局tàichén zhòng沉重dàntí xǐng提醒wǒ men我们biǎo dá表达àiyí dìng一定yàoyǒuwēn dù温度yǒuzé rèn责任érbú shì不是yòngqíng xù情绪bào lì暴力bāo guǒ包裹dejiǎ ài假爱

The ending of this story is unbearably heavy, but it reminds us that expressing love must come with warmth and responsibility, not with emotions and violence disguised as ‘love.’

黄刚
yuànzhè yàng这样debēi jù悲剧yuè lái yuè越来越shǎoxī wàng希望dà jiā大家zàiguān xì关系dōunéngxué huì学会qiú zhù求助shuōzhǐ sǔn止损àibú shì不是quán bù全部shēng mìng生命gèngzhòng yào重要

May tragedies like this become fewer and fewer, and may everyone learn to seek help, say no, and cut losses in relationships. Love is not everything—life matters more.

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