A student's parent just messaged me. She said she found her daughter writing in her diary that she likes a boy in her class, and asked whether she should put a stop to it immediately. I honestly didn't know how to respond.

Stopping her outright might backfire. It's very common for teenagers to develop feelings for someone. What matters is whether the child knows how to handle those feelings and understands which boundaries shouldn't be crossed.

That's what I think too. But what parents worry about most is still their child's grades. They're afraid the two kids will chat every day, stay up late at night, and lose focus on their studies.

That doesn't mean they have to pretend they know nothing about it. They can first listen to what their child has to say, then work out some rules together—for example, it shouldn't interfere with studying or sleep, and if the child goes out to meet the other person, they should tell their parents where they're going and what time they'll be back.

What worries me most is that some parents panic and start secretly reading diaries or checking phones. The child feels disrespected and stops telling them anything, which actually makes it even harder to understand what's going on.

Right. And besides studying, parents should also clearly explain boundaries around physical contact. They can talk about it calmly without necessarily labeling it as 'dating too young.'

Then tomorrow I'll talk to this student first. I won't directly ask whether she's dating someone. I'll just ask how she's been feeling lately and whether anything has been bothering her.

That would feel more natural. At least she'll know the adults aren't there to interrogate her. As long as she's still willing to tell adults the truth, there's a chance to work through many problems gradually.